Facing my Mirror

This first month of the new year has been a really good one. I've had some hard times, emotionally which has caused me to really ask God some honest questions. It's hard to look at myself and see what truly is looking back at me. I'm really trying to not be afraid of whatever it is that is me and face all truth, that is... who I am. I have a desire to really have God show me what it's like to see, know, be in friendship with, parented by, married to... Me. Asking myself this I think would have been hard enough if I were to get real honest. Asking God to really show me, I am hoping for it to get harder and I don't want God to hold anything back. I want to see the good parts that I don't see. I want to see the bad parts that I don't see. I am hoping to come into better focus. How can I love God and please Him through my relationships, revealing His glory? I'm not sure yet but it sounds like a good time finding it out.

God created her and I think she is just great

CJ is a writer. She loves to keep journals and write down her thoughts. She is an artist. She makes pictures sometimes all day and finds so much enjoyment in being alone creating. She is a worshipper of God and has written beautiful songs for Him. She brought me one of her journal's tonight and asked me to read some of the things she had been writing. Thought I would share, with her permission of course....


A prayer for God:

I pray for God because he has to look after everybody.
It must be really hard, if I had to do that.
But somehow it's really easy for Him... So Amen


GOD:

God is peaceful
He is so kind
When we do something bad
He forgives you every time
PRAISE GOD



At school I sit thinking about reading the Bible. It will be fun! Learning about God more and more every day of my life.


Dear God, I really feel scared but Why? Can I control myself? Why is it so hard to not be scared? Why can't the Devil be sorry for what he did?


We need Peace oh Lord
Oh mighty Lord we sing
To you oh mighty Lord
I need to see you Lord
We need Peace

Kendall "giggles" Fischer

Weave-Tastic

I picked the kids up from school yesterday and I saw this around Cole's neck. I asked him what it was and he said he weaved it at school and he doesn't know what it is.. only that it's.....

WEAVE-TASTIC!

Mel the Magician

When I wake up in the morning I look pretty scary. I wash my face(most of the time) the night before and my mascara gets all over my face, around my eyes and it's quite frightening really. So I leave it however it looks and go to bed. The next morning I walk around looking like a monster and no one in the house says much about it. Sometimes if the eyes are really black Kendall will get scared. Friday I was feeling a little sicky so I looked scary all day. One of Nate's friends was having a birthday party that night and I was feeling better so Nate had told me that we needed to go soon. I totally forgot about the party all together. It was 5:20 and we needed to be out of the house by 5:40 to get there. It was a surprise party so we couldn't really be late. The kids were still dressed from school but I only had minutes to fix the disaster. I hopped in the shower and started flailing around trying to get dressed and look normal. I was getting upset because I didn't think I'd be ready and Nate walks in the room...Nate"what's up, we have about 5 minutes before we have to go, can you make it?" Me- scary face," Umm I don't think so. I wish you would have reminded me earlier" Nate," Oh sorry I didn't think about it." Me," yeah well I need like a half hour to get ready, when I have to take a shower." Nate,"I don't know the getting ready rules, all I know is that your like a magician. Your out here, you go in there, you do some stuff and wallah, you come out looking perfect"
I could say no more.. I just laughed and laughed. He said it so straight faced and serious. In his eyes, he has no idea what I do and how I go from looking like scary face to normal. He doesn't know the time or what really occurs. He just knows I go behind the door and when I re-appear, all is well again......awesome

If you look at her eye in the picture you can see a pretty good bruise. Last Saturday the girls were cleaning their room and I heard the LOUDEST noise. It sounded like their TV fell and hit the ground. Then I hear screaming. I run down stairs and see CJ looking at me very nervous and Kendall with her face covered in her hands. So the story is this... CJ put a towel over Kendall's eyes and then was trying to direct her around the room to not crash into stuff. Well it didn't work out so well and Kendall went running quickly into the wall face first. This pic is 5 days after. Her eye was swollen pretty bad the first couple days. She was sad for a few days about it but is happy once again..


Here is a video of her reciting her Awana bible verse for the week. Kendall can't read yet(but a few words here and there)but she insists on looking at the book and pretending she is reading her verses all the time! You can hear Bosley giving some good snores in the background too.

Make this..you won't be disappointed!

Okay so this isn't my picture but it's a picture of what it could look like. I've made this a few times and it is by FAR the best pork ribs I've ever had!

I changed the recipe a bit and I add cilantro to mine. If you don't like cilantro then the original recipe says add fresh parsley. I also add worcester sauce and soy sauce and the original recipe says to add soy sauce. I saw people complained it was too salty. The worcester sauce is so good in it! You should really make this cause it's AMAZING!

Stove top Pork Ribs

10 pork ribs (I've used with and without bones, I usually use boneless)

1/2 c worcester sauce (4 tablespoons I put of soy sauce in the cup first)

10 cloves garlic peeled and crushed a bit

4 tablespoons Italian seasoning

2 limes- juice only

Add black pepper and salt

1/2 bushel of fresh cilantro leaves

Put the ribs in a large pot with just enough water to cover them. Add Worcester/soy mix and garlic, Italian seasoning, lime juice, salt and pepper and cilantro. Bring to a boil and then let boil uncovered until water is evaporated. It could take 1 to 2 hours depending on the pot size and size of ribs. Usually takes me closer to 2 hours but it's great because they shred good the longer they are on. Watch the pot when it starts to get really low because the water goes fast then. Start moving the ribs around so they get browned and scrape all the bits off the bottom of the pan so they get all over the ribs. Keep turning and moving anywhere from 5-15 minutes after water is gone. They won't burn if you keep moving them. Mine usually shred a lot during this. I have served this over rice and the sauce is sooo good!!! You can squeeze fresh limes over it after too if you like that.

ENJOY!

Who knows.. not me, that's for sure.

Since my life is still in a complete state of confusion, I've been thinking lots about what the next thing in our life will be. At this point we can't make any plans being that the Northern CA contract is still in effect and still could happen this summer. Just knowing that that might not happen(due to lawyer stuff and suing and land stuff between the investor and the Company) has left me once again confused and saying to God ..ok..so, what's up!?! Sold our house in a day, we weren't trying to move anywhere, dropped this opportunity on us and now... hmmmm? When I say I am down for an adventure I really do mean it. I wonder if that means I'll be confused my whole life now. When I try to make plans, they don't happen. When I don't try to make plans, they happen then they don't happen!!! CRAZY!! I've been praying and still have no idea what to do if this deal falls through. Stay here? We love it here, Nate has a great job, kids school is amazing, wonderful church. Move anywhere???!?!?!? Sounds insane but exciting! I have been looking at YWAM and mission bases all over the world at ministry opportunities they have open. And the needs are so GREAT. I don't know... Nate talked to me about selling everything, buying a motor home and traveling everywhere we could drive too. HAHA!!! AHHH!! OK, where do we get money for food and gas and Nathan and I are not the homeschooling type. This would require a SERIOUS act of the LORD! So not in my heart.... It's kind of exciting to think that since we did sell our house we could just pick up and do whatever we want to do(of course Lord willing)and go wherever we want to go. Maybe I just won't come back from Africa..haha. Well, so I continue in my confusion, continue praying and maybe I'll be in Spain in 6 months..??? WOOOHOOO!!!!

Oh boy...

It's getting closer to my trip and man I have lots of details and ways of travel I have to figure out and keep track of. There are lots of weird names like Airtran, airtrain, piccadilly, the tube....that I will have to figure out how to get on, get to the right place, transfer on and not lose Cole on. Terrifying! haha I am just about the worst direction person ever born and even when I have plans and directions in front of me I just never seem to work it out right. Can it be true that I will be traveling around NYC and London and Africa being responsible to know what's going on? AHH!!!!! haha

This is going to be so insane and so much fun. Cole is already saying things like, "mom we are totally getting lost, you know it's true right?" Yes son... I know it's true. I will pray God gives me a mind to handle this(only for this time, cause otherwise I'd be exhausted) but if we get lost, whatever it will be an adventure! We are flying into Long Island and have to take a bus ride to one location and then an airtrain to another stop where we get on another train thing to JFK.. Then we are off to London for a 12 hour layover..I am 99% sure we can travel around and we'll take some tube or piccadilly things to see the Tower of London(I must see this famous spot of all my beloved history books about the Tudors)and some other spots. Then off to Johannesburg and then one more flight to Pemba! Two weeks of incredible who knows what... God's goodness. Kids, kids and more kids. Mosquito nets and iodine tablets, malaria pills and hoping Cole doesn't starve to death himself. Oh man, I can't wait...Two months away now and I can already feel myself getting crazy about being there. I'd take 500 flights and 5 million weird transports to be there. I wonder how wrecked I'm going to be.. I hope demolished and ruined for life. Oh my son... can't wait to see what God has in store for this young man. At the base they are seeing so many miracles..Blind people seeing every week, dead people raised, lame walking and so much more. I think my eyes have been blind and I hope they will see all of the GLORIOUS things God does on earth. After we head back the same way(that it if I don't get arrested for trying to smuggle lots of kids with me)and we have a day in NYC and spend the night there at a hotel. That should be a nice end...By then I can call someone to google maps for me or something to get me around.

Wow wow wow.. I am so pumped and terrified and it's just a wonderful feeling... 15 days of adventure~~~~