Spring school performance night!

Nathan had to leave for a last minute business meeting on Sunday and this is just the perfect week for him to be gone... Monday and Tuesday night we had spring performance nights at pre-school. Which means there is the potential for it to have been total and complete MADNESS..not only was it beach-themed and that all the kids are wearing sunglasses(dropping and losing them every second),carrying beach towels to trip them onto the other children(which happened of course on the podium, sending the entire audience into UHHHHHHHH) but all the kids from morning/afternoon classes are there with loads and I mean loads of parents,grandparents, neighbors and maybe even a few pets, I don't know. I do know that people out here are all about pre-school, all about their kids performances. It was packed the heck out!!! So..Monday I have to take my children along with me. Kendal's class was going to be Tuesday night so that means all three were going to be together the whole time with no adults and in an audience of madness. I was terrified they'd be talking(kendal) or standing up, getting in everyone's filming or picture taking way and who knows what else. I of course THREATENED and THREATENED and THREATENED some more... You may die if you do something wrong, I may drop you off at the foster home, not sure but I May...Well that worked because they did awesome..Cole of course read the entire time, through the entire thing. The girls sang along and I didn't hear fighting or hear Kendal..whew! Night one down...So, I take my kids out to a late dinner at fancy subway(they seriously can't get enough of it, so much so that I am like..can we go to McDONALDS, PLEASE!!) and tell them I am so proud and that teachers and parents came up to me to tell me how well behaved they were...They were beaming with joy! Okay...so maybe I fluffed their little heads up? I should have THREATENED more until Tuesday night was over probably. Last night Kendal would be with her class so I only had to worry about the other two. Cole would be reading his next 400 page novel (surely he finished the other one the night before) and CJ would take pictures for me... No Kendal talking loud enough for Nate to hear in Oklahoma, all should be good! Well, well, well...I knew I was in trouble when I got there and CJ's twin friends were there this night. I went into panic..their Mom is a teacher at the school, so they would be unattended too as well. I find seats in the front row reserved for our families and I sit my two kids down and I tell them, DO NOT GET UP, DO NOT MAKE NOISE, HOLD YOUR BREATH UNTIL YOU ALMOST PASS OUT, get the picture... I leave to get my school kids and the performance starts..I get to the front of the stage and I see CJ, Cole and the TWINS now sitting together. Oh no, I think... okay, Cole reading, good..CJ taking pictures of her and her friends faces..bad, bad, bad..this is going to be bad and I just feel it.
There are lots of classes coming up and off the stage, lots of singing and just lots of stuff going on... I am sitting on one side of the front where I can see Cole and CJ(I'm on the floor with approx. 16 3-4 yr olds)and please tell me why I see CJ standing up taking pictures. Right in the dang front, standing there taking pictures of the stage(Kendal isn't even up there YET) Omg..I am dying already...A little later Kendal is sitting in the row behind her and the twins now have my camera and are standing up and taking pictures of Kendal, SMILE KENDAL, KENDAL SMILE..oh yes I can hear it on the other side of the room...right there..in front, totally blocking everyone's view... Okay Kendal is coming up on the stage next and she happens to be placed closer to where I'm at(and just understand how NO ONE can hear their kids sing over Kendal, it was Kendal solo night for the brown room)...Oh no I think... that means one of the girls will be trying to get over here to take pics.. Oh yes I turn to my left to see ALL THREE GIRLS walking in FRONT(well ducking about 1/2 inch, how considerate of them) of the stage with the camera giggling trying to take walking pictures of Kendal until they get to me...They didn't get close enough to me so that I could PINCH anyone..dang it! I wasn't even able to get CJ's eye attention to DEATH RAY GLARE HER! Is this dang thing over yet? So a little more performance goes on and the next thing I see is all three girls again..the twins are both dragging CJ to me saying, SHE HAS TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. I am shhhhh'ing them and saying, go, go, be quiet and get out of here!!! Okay this is so in the front and everyone can see the ridiculous 8 yr olds... It's almost the end..please hurry!!! Before the last song, the girls decide to walk down the center isle(then duck approx. 1/2 inch) when they walk yet again in the front of the stage, looking for somewhere to sit up with all of us. The twins Mom was up there too, so they of course assumed they could be wherever they wanted as well. I grab CJ's arm on her way by me really, really hard..She looks at me like.. Oh NO...Oh yes I was thinking in my head, you are dead meat... The last song is ready and that's where every class goes up and every staff member too. We all do a wonderful and exciting compilation of the chicken dance, itsy bitsy, head shoulders knees and toes, into a faster chicken dance.. it's way over the top thrilling! I am getting all my school kids in order when my son is now standing on stage, with me yelling..MOM, MOM, MOMMMMMMMM!!! I look at him and he is panicked, holding his book and saying, I've lost my sisters, I don't know where my SISTERS ARE!! Can someone please just stab me..please just stab me right now! I look at him with a blank stare and he just knows, oh no.. oh yes I think.. oh yes.. you will DIE TONIGHT!!!!!!! The performance ends, I round up all my children away from the cookies, try to laugh at how everyone is telling me about people hearing Kendal from down the street and I am just thinking about how this is to be my kids last cookies, ever...The car ride home..... Cole knows...he just knows by the silence of me that it's bad. He says.. Mom, I was reading my book the whole time and when I looked up CJ was gone and I didn't see Kendal. I say, Cole, KENDAL WAS UP ON THE STAGE SINGING and your other sister was trying out for girls gone wild. He then says, oh yeah the teachers were telling them to be quiet the whole time. Ummm, what?? So not only was CJ being a ridiculous picture and video ruiner but school teachers were shhh'in her on the other side??? OH H-E double hockey sticks NO!! Her face has fear on it...total and complete fear. Her defense starts with, THEY wouldn't leave me alone! THEY kept talking to ME, dragging me around everywhere, they took your camera and so on and so on.. Okay.. so I do know that the twins drag her around all the time normally and she definitely doesn't make the best choices with them around but I am so not feeling this Poor Victim CJ thing... so, CJ is on MAJOR punishment needless to say and to make it worse, I just told her that it's coming and it's BADDDD.. Kendal and I even went to Arby's for dinner just to make things worse for the older two(Cole and CJ think Arby's is like dog food or something and would rather starve than eat there) and ate our curly fries and ham sandwiches with the happiest of smiles on. So...yes night two was not one of the fischer's better nights... Well, tonight the kids have Awana and wouldn't ya know it's PET NIGHT!! They get to bring a pet for the wonderful pet parade(parents required to stay)So, umm, I am suppose to bring two dogs, and three kids for the stinkin pet parade alone now??? I know I'll make it through tonight, I can't promise all three kids or dogs will......
I did get a text from Nate this morning and it said.. You are the most amazing wife and mother, I love you and I owe you for these last few days.. I'll make it up to you..thanks so much.
He knew that's what I needed to hear and quite honestly he wants to make sure none of the wrath comes down on him upon his return.. smart, smart man......
Okay, so can it be worse than last night?? Let's hope for the fischer kids survival that it is not...