I am so so so blessed....I've had 7 YEARS!

My little love Miss Kendall turns 7 today....7 years ago this tiny beautiful baby was born and she looked perfect but I didn't know that she had a genetic metabolic disease until a few weeks later. It was an extremely long 5 months after that...It was like time stood still and I was living in a total fog. I was pretending to be a Mom to my other kids, a wife to Nate..but I was just going through motions. I was 100% focused 24/7 on my sick little baby and how we were going to live with this forever...I remember when I had resolved to be OK with it. I was walking around the hospital during one of her week long stays and I walked by these tiny kids being wheeled around in a cart with absolutely no hair and looking so tired and sick but smiling so big...I started crying, realizing that this was their life and why not me? I told God that I understand this happens and why not me? Did I think I was beyond pain, beyond challenges, beyond disappointments? Who did I think I was, really? People kept praying, asking God to heal her.. I appreciated the prayers yet I stopped praying myself for her healing.. I would just ask God..if you want to heal her, please do God. I don't EXPECT you to do it, in a demanding way..I would be grateful forever..but I will be grateful forever for her..even living with her sick...I had to be OK with it.. and manage and pull it together and jump in and learn about it and deal...5 months after she was born I got the call.. Nate and I were on our way to a cruise. We had bought it a long time ago for our anniversary and there were no refunds. It was a 3 day cruise off the coast and I didn't want to go. She wasn't in the hospital at that time but she had to be fed every two hours 24/7 and I was nervous to leave her. My Mom swore to take good care and I know that I needed a break. Spending the night in the hospital for nights and nights when she was there and just being up every 2 hours all day and night.. Yet I was terrified to leave... On our way to the cruise her Doctor called me.. She told me that all the latest tests came back negative.. her liver biopsy was fine and there was no evidence in her urine anymore..The doctor said.."I don't know what to say here... I could say there are just things we can't explain" Before the positive tests in her urine, all the specialists agreed that if you are not sick there is no way for it to be in your urine and she will always have it in her urine.... I started crying and crying and crying... The doctor said to enjoy my trip!!! They were going to run tests again when we got back to confirm...They did, they ran them again and everything came back Negative! It was hard to let go for the first year. I still got up every few hours to see if she was breathing..I watched her like a HAWK and I just prayed that if she was sick that God would keep me alert to the symptoms. After a bit.. we found out that her middle name JACE...means healing/healer. I had no idea what the name meant when we named her. I just loved the sound of it....So, my GOD stamped her name with healing before she was even born!!! This child has been such a gift. She is pure JOY! She is full full full of life, full of love and is so happy! She sings to her own melodies and surprises us all the time. I am still and will always be grateful to God for what He did... I didn't demand it, or walk around like I deserved it.. I asked and was OK either way. I still don't know if I handled it "right".. I handled it real and God did what He did...I will never forget and I will tell her the story over and over and over.. How God created her and made a promise to her, even before she was born. I am blessed on this day... September 17Th... I love you my precious, precious little Heart...

Here is a picture of her this morning.. walking down the street to the bus stop...Singing a song about turning 7 and making sure to keep 7 on her fingers at all time... : )