CJ is like me in a lot of ways. We are external beings. We are passionate in demonstrating our love and passionate in demonstrating our anger. I've come to learn that it's pointless to tell someone like me and CJ to not get mad and want to do something about it. It's like telling a mute to stop being silent. Not going to happen! Instead, seeing that I have produced a child that functions in ways that are similar to myself I've figured that instead of telling her not to get mad, Nate and I try to give her ideas on how to manage the madness. Instead of punching your sister Kendall in the face, you can walk away to your room and punch your webkinz or yell a bit or write out your angers(which she is pretty dang good at and I'm convinced she is going to write a tell all on our insane family some day) but do something other than attack someone. CJ always feels bad right after she gets mad. She is the quickest to forgive and the quickest to ask for forgiveness. She can get angry and be is diffused and over it, in a minute. She isn't a loaded gun either. She doesn't get mad all the time or about everything but when she gets mad, the other kids best look out. External processors(thanks Marie for the name and explanation) like us just need outlets because we don't go internal with our anger..It takes time for us to think about why we want to punch something so instead we just would rather kick a hole in the door and be over it.
Nate asked her if she wanted to keep a sheet that she could write how she was feeling about what was going on with her and things she wanted to work on or things she was proud of, in regards to her emotions. I took a picture of it, it's a little hard to read so here's what it says.
CJ's under control sheet!
Today I did not yell at Kendall
Today I tried to make Kendall stop yelling
Today I did not yell at Kendall
Today I made Kendall feel better
Today I kissed Kendall's Boo Boo
Tucked Kendall in
Played outside with Kendall
I did not get mad
I cleaned our room together
I hugged her because shes my sister
I think most of her drama is with Kendall??! Those two are as opposite as they come. haha Oh man this parenting stuff is insane.
1 comments:
I really appreciated this post! Our youngest, Kirby is very similar to what I'm understanding CJ is like...but he's only 4:) I've been working at finding ways for him to express himself without taking it out on someone, but it's hard for me to imagine, cause I'm the complete opposite....so I appreciate your ideas & insight:)
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